No rest seems to be enough.

I was gone for a few days with Lila up in Aptos for my brother's wedding, which was Thursday. In that time, my family did their best to get me to take my mind off of things and rest. Which I did as much as I could. Every night I slept at least 7 hours, I spent time with my sister's and brother's. But the moment I entered the house again, I felt the same overwhelming cloud, that continued to loom over my head the whole time away, become full again. Even more so now with the added tasks and meds to our regime.

Mike did an amazing job holding down the fort with Ian. What a Super Daddy! Who would have thunk... he became a nurse while I was gone ;-) They were really set on getting Ian out of the hospital, which is a good thing but tricky when they felt he still needed shots. So Mike was trained to give him his antibiotic shot. Also trained to send a very long catheter down his nose to his throat to clear out his congestion.

What miserable things he has to do to his little boy. Just holding him down twice was enough for me. I've held him down so many times for shots but when it's his Daddy doing them it seems even more difficult, not sure why.

Anyway, I brought both kids to the doctor yesterday for well check-ups and for Ian to have a follow-up after discharge. Even with Sandra (the fabulous nurse who works with us) it was a disaster. If she wasn't there I would have completely lost it. Lila was super whiny and Ian cried a bit as well. As I was holding Lila on my lap trying to get her to calm down, I realized he neck felt warm. Turns out she had a fever!

These are the kind of things that send me over the edge, again. This means while I'm trying to give her extra care, because she's not feeling well, I need to become a germaphobe so that I don't get what she has, or even worse, give it to Ian. She also needs to stay away from him but we just can't separate them this time. There's just no energy to bring her to a different spot right now, especially after she's been away from the house already. Also means that she can't go to preschool, which only has 2 weeks left anyways.

Thank goodness for Sandra. I will have to step up her hours and if we run out (insurance only allows a certain amount per year with a certain amount of 4 hour visits so I've been trying to keep her help to a minimum), we'll just have to deal with it at that time. I've also got 3 appointments for Ian this week which were to occur while she was in school or with a friend. Not sure what I'll do about those.

I've just learned I've got to deal with life as it comes, one day at a time.