Back home with even more stress!

Just yesterday, as Mike was being told that Ian was free to be released from the hospital, Lila was showing me signs that she had picked up a cold of sorts. Can you believe it?! The stress level just hit a new high. How are we going to keep Lila's cold from ending up getting to Ian? I called their pediatrician's office and the doctor on call told me I'd have to keep him in his room and treat it as if he were in the PICU, everyone coming in washing their hands and putting a cover over their shirt, and not allowing Lila in the room.

Of course this adds another layer of complexity in trying to care for them both. Not only do I have to try to separate them, but this means Lila can also not attend her Summer Preschool. How the heck am I going to pull this one off without completely loosing it? I guess Sandra, the fabulous nurse that has been working with us part time, will have to step up her hours this week. Or the less complex way to handle it would be to have Lila stay with her Grandma for a few days and hope she doesn't end up with her cold.

Not being able to kiss or hug her brother, or even see him for that matter, is probably going to drive Lila nuts! She's so in love with him, which is adorable, but this is going to be tough on all of us.

I just can't believe we never get a break. It's already stressful enough to bring the poor boy home in his condition. He has to only lay on one side, he's difficult to pick up because we can't put pressure on the area they worked on. Even though they didn't want to give him anything for his pain unless he was screaming, he's got to be uncomfortable and at least have a headache. I've now got him on Tylenol at a minimum. I told Mike that just because he's not showing he's completely uncomfortable, doesn't mean he's not. After a surgery like that we wouldn't necessarily be crying all the time if we didn't feel well. As long as it can't hurt him, he'll get it to keep him comfortable.

He's also not nursing well. Even though he did for over an hour right after the surgery, now it's not so great. And maybe that has something to do with the pain. Maybe he nursed fabulously because he was on pain meds and didn't feel uncomfortable doing so.

Speaking of nursing, I'm so stressed out by all of this, I was pumping just before bed and didn't get one drop! He had nursed a little bit before he went to bed, maybe 2-3 minutes on each side, and when I fed on one side, I was leaking on the other, so I know that there's still something there. I've also been pumping, as I'm doing now, and getting my usual piddly amount. But not one drop for that session. Talk about adding to the stress! Of course it's because of it but then it just compounds it. Thank goodness I'm getting some out now, not much, but at least some.

One more thing. We were planning on going to my parents for a couple of weeks. Mike has a business trip for a week and then one of my brother's is getting married. When I originally spoke to Dr. Lazareff, he said, go, no problem. He said the recovery wouldn't be that long. But now, I'm looking at Ian just to put him into the car seat is stressful on him because he's got to have his head turned awkwardly. I couldn't imagine him in that position for 6-8 hours in the car. The nurse said we shouldn't put pressure on that spot for between 1-3 weeks.

But how am I going to let Mike go and have the two of them by myself for a week? Either lot's of help or it's not going to happen. Which of course puts more stress on us all. Mike needs to be able to get back to his old schedule in order to keep up with his professional life. How the heck is this going to happen any time soon? I really need to see my family right now too. It would be so nice for all of us, especially the kids to be around that much family and love. But of course not at the expense of my little guy being uncomfortable.

It's all getting to me. I'm not dealing very well right now. I'm sure it will get better. I'm done pumping and off to try to get some sleep.