Mike & I went to the hospital together today. I had spoken to Ian's nurse, who had not been with him before, and got an update late morning before we headed up. I mentioned that I couldn't see him yesterday because of my Pink Eye. She asked if it was cleared up and I said it looked better to me. And I really believed that it did. If you looked closely, you could see that the white was a bit off but no longer pink, more of just an slightly off white. I should have taken that to be it wasn't cleared up.
When we arrived, Mike stayed downstairs to do a call for work and I headed up, thinking I was fine to go in. When I got to Ian's pod, his nurse introduced herself to me and then broke the news. She had talked to Dr. Devaskar, who was on as of yesterday as the attending, and she told her I should stay away for 48-72 hours, until it was completely cleared up. Of course, I broke down a bit. Not because I was mad at them for, again, trying to protect my little boy. They are just doing their job and he's my top priority. But because I'm walking around in a bit of a daze, always on the edge of breaking down. And things like this are what push me over.
She walked me out and we ran into Dr. Devaskar in the hall. The nurse wanted her to explain it to me, although she really didn't need to. What I needed to know was if it was truly cleared up tomorrow, would I be able to come in. She was quite sympathetic and explained that they really did want us (Ian & I ) to be together, that it was the best thing for both of us. But, she said when the whites are the same is when it's okay. I headed into the restroom to finish my cry and looked in the mirror. Of course, crying accentuated the difference between my eyes and the one looked super red now. I must have looked like a fool trying to get in.
I found Mike where I had left him, still on the phone, and explained what happened. He would go up and check on Ian while I pumped. He took some video and photos of him with his iPhone so I could see how he looked today. He was concerned a bit because when he was opening his eyes, they would kind of go every which way. They had done another scan of his head because the circumference had gotten larger the night before. He wanted to go back in to speak to Dr. D about it. He did that while I finished cleaning up and we met downstairs. His head ultrasound looked fine. They think the reason his eyes were tripping out might be because he's on more Morphine now as well as a new sedative, Hydromorphone (also called Dilaudid) that his eyes are tripping out. Hopefully they will look better.
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