Botched birthday party invite.

I'm so bummed right now. Ian actually was invited to a birthday party. If you have a disabled child, you know what a big deal this is for 6th grade. Actually, it was his 2nd one this year. These two are both wonderful girls and have known him from school since kinder. And have always been so caring with him. Anyway, I put it in the calendar for the wrong day! It was yesterday :( 

Not only getting the invite is major, but to prep him for going is another achievement. We were there and ready to walk in when the mom texted me back to say it was yesterday. So sad! And frustrated. I thought, we've come this far, I'm going to make a go of the experience. It was at Bowlero and he used to kind of be into the place, years ago. So we went in, paid for a set of shoes and a lane, and did our best. He actually rolled 6 balls, for 3 frames. Before he started in with his, "Back to Ian's house." Which is what he's been saying when we go anywhere  for the last few months. So that's a success, in a way. I know I need to appreciate it but it's still a frustrating process. I have to coerce him into bowling, sitting instead of laying down and typing his whole script from Blue's Clues, and eventually starting to "rub". And then he wanted food, lemonade and pizza, which I ordered. Once it was there, he was trying to leave the building. So I had to try to coerce him to come back to the lane and eat/drink. 

At least I remembered his headphones. The last party was at Dave and Buster's, another even louder and more overwhelming place, and he wanted to leave the moment he walked in. This was his favorite friend from kinder. The sweetest girl, who used to spend a lot of time with him at school and still really cares for him. He was excited to see her, although I had to coerce him to find her with me before leaving. But the whole time, "Back to Ian's house."

And of course, my swim dates I've been trying to do with him for the last 6 months are helping these relationships, but also driving me nuts. They are so exhausting and saddening. Again, I coordinate the friends, which is tricky to do with these kids' schedules. It's a fun thing to do and different for the kids. We've been members of the California Yacht Club since 1999, when we had Mike's prior boat. They have a pool but it used to be freezing. The last year or so, they've fancied it up a bit, adding nicer chairs and some cabana looking things. And clearly it's warmer so they've changed that. And it's fun to get food down by the pool and swim. 

The kids either meet us down there or, lately since school is in session, I pick them all up when I grab Ian at the end of the day. It's so lovely to do these and Ian is always excited that his friends are there. But as soon as we all get in the pool, he's saying "Getting out." "Back to Ian's house." or "iPad time at 360." (I'll get into what 360 is in a min) All the while his friends are having a great time swimming. And they are trying to interact with him now and again. But of course, he's either saying, "Getting out." or, if we are lucky, he's asking them the same things he's been asking them for the last 7 years: Can we do a sniff?, Can we do a dizzy?, Can we do a shiver/freezing?, Ring around the rosy.

The kids humor him for one or two of these and then they are off. But I know they are sick of them. And to be honest, I'm so sick of them as well. I know I should be grateful that he can even talk. That he has "friends" that are up for hanging out with him. But I'm just sad that he can't move onto new things to ask them. And get off his obsession with devices, screens, etc. 

I'll get over it and move on to being more appreciative. In general, he's a sweet boy, silly and charismatic presence. And I love him so much. I'm just sad for him and tired.