Didn't find Copenhagen a place of acceptance

We are back from our month in Copenhagen. It was a remarkable trip for the whole family. Just hard to put into words how enriching it was for us all. And i will post more positive experiences soon. I wish I would have kept up on the blog and FB while we were there. Unfortunately, we didn't have much down time. Most often the family got to bed by midnight-ish and Ian would be back up by 7. Not the best rest for his brain. But so much positive stimulation!

At the same time, so much negative energy directed at him from the overall community. I was so surprised and so sad. Copenhagen is clearly supportive of child development, and overall community building. I truly believe they have more outdoor options for everything in their 37 sq miles than I've seen in the 503 sq miles of Los Angeles in the 30 years I've lived here. This is found in parks, green areas, waterside spaces, benches everywhere, restaurants, bridges, courtyards and just a great deal of community spaces in general. And everywhere you go, there are fabulous development options for children. Many of the tools used at our fabulous therapy center, NAPA, are found scattered among the city, to get children, and adults as well, spinning, balancing, jumping, etc. Just wonderful!

So you'd think that the combination would lend itself to acceptance of all people. Here-in is where I came across the opposite, time and time again, which was really frustrating. I'm used to a stare or condescending look here and there in Los Angeles. What I realized is the reason they really get to me is it's the exception, not the rule. Those rules seemed switched in Copenhagen. The amount of times children would step away from him as if he had a disease they could catch, or just stare in utter amazement, not in a positive sense, was so shocking. I'm used to children not really being aware, but most often just going with it or continuing their play around him. But what I found there was a clear physical uncomfortableness that would stop them in their tracks and draw them far away from him. And to be honest, the adults, whom should know better and truly be more empathetic, were almost worse. I'm not saying all, but a large majority.

There are so many reasons I was in tears experiencing what happened in my previous post. Of course spontaneous interactive play, especially on a structure that is not preferred was amazing. But it happened in this community in which I felt a clear nonacceptance for my sweet boy. That was the ultimate kicker which started the tears a comin'.

I was so hopeful after that experience. And tried to enable it to happen again many times after. But only came close a couple times. Until he decided that he loved "watching" the see-saw and wanted nothing to do with being on it.

Towards the end I began to comment back to the stares, which I know is quite immature. "He's had a very rough beginning", "his brain works differently... he's the sweetest guy you'll ever meet". Tdhe final straw, which I flip back and forth from being embarrassed about and ok with, was in the very long Customs line upon our return. A family of 6 could not stop staring in disgust at him while we sang, as quietly as possible. To try to engage his attention away from the line, the exhaustion of the trip and all of the walking, and the fact he was without a device to keep him occupied in said line and said condition. I finally said to them, in my nicest of voices, and with a genuine smile on my face, "May God grant your family a special needs child so you may come to a better place of understanding and patience." Hmmm, embarrassed or ok with this, I'm still on the fence going from horrified I would say such a thing, to ok with it. After that trip I need to come up with something appropriate to say rather than allowing the words to be conjured up by my emotions at the time.

So happy to be back in a place of more acceptance. And thank you for being a part of the world who will accept him and love him for the amazing soul he is!