Yet another setback

As I type this I'm sitting on the couch across the room from Ian trying to keep out of view of him. He's off food again and, understandably so, just doesn't understand why Mommy won't feed him. Every time he sees me, he cries so I'm trying to give him a break by hoping he'll get distracted with his play matt toys.

I've given him more than his allotment of sugar water on the green foam wand, which he gobbles up like the most amazing sucker. He is so frustrated. And to top it off, he's not napping which will drive him crazy I'm sure. His little body needs time to rest and work on healing itself.

Yesterday while I was getting my 4 fillings replaced, Mike was here with Ian. I guess he had another "asthma attack" where he wasn't moving enough air. So he's back on continuous Albuterol and additional breathing treatments. They took an x-ray last night and it looked worse than when we arrived! After all the care he's been getting it just doesn't make sense. Dr. Ishander also put him back on antibiotics again as a precaution in case it is pneumonia in conjunction with RSV. The original look at the xray when we were admitted on the 3rd was read (by the head of the department) as possible pneumonia but when the nasal washing came back with a positive for RSV, I guess they figured that was it. And since RSV is a virus, and viruses can not be treated with antibiotics, they took him off of the antibiotics they had started.

I'm definitely wearing down and so is he. Even after having yesterday off, I'm an emotional wreck. We just want to be back home. With our sweet Lila chatting at us, Bella (our dog) jumping on us, and picking out dinner music with Daddy before we sit down for our evening meal. 11 days is too long. And I don't think it's even the 11 days that's really getting to me. It's the uncertainty of what's going on in those little lungs and when they will begin to heal. Not to mention if this incident is going to have a lasting effect on them, which is my biggest worry. He's got enough issues to deal with in life without adding additional long-term lung problems. We were just getting to a good point with his oxygen at home. On 1/8 of a liter and, in my opinion, not really even needing that.

I've now learned that having the shot for RSV does not necessarily prevent it. I guess in some healthy children it might, but for kids like Ian it is more a means of minimizing the illness. I couldn't imagine where he'd be if he'd not gotten his shots if this is minimal.

We'll hope for a better evening and the okay to eat tomorrow.