First thoughts.

So here I am, slowly flipping from one side to the other like a very low burner browning pancake, taking every day, hour, minute, as it comes and trying to make the most of it. I've been here since last Thursday, Feb 25th. It's been a most horrible experience but I'm finally getting to the point where I can get my head around what's happening and what the next few weeks hold in store for me.

When they put me on the Magnesium Sulfate, you could tell there was a bit of stress in the room. I went from getting shots of Terbutaline to them telling me that it wasn't working and they needed something stronger. Then came the IV. All the while I was talking to my parents & my Mother-in-law (who was watching my daughter, Lila) and we were all trying to figure out what time I'd be home that evening.

Then the bomb came. One of the nurses broke it to me that I probably wasn't going to go home until I had my baby... if they could help it, no earlier than 36 weeks. I was not even 33 weeks yet!

Next it was explained that what they were starting me on, the Magnesium, was going to make me feel really horrible for the next couple of days. Well that became an understatement! How about feeling as if your going to die? I guess that's pretty horrible, right?

I thought I'd document the experience, hard as it is to comprehend. Then I thought, will I just want to "command z" it from my mind, and is this making it more permanent? There are so often thoughts I want to put down, no way of writing in this drugged state, thank goodness for 7th grade typing, here it goes!